Did Nano again.

Apparently what I needed to get out of this rut I have bin in ever since March, was to just plant my ass in front of a laptop and hammer 50 000 of the nearly 700k of words that were all clogging up in my head. I feel almost light headed now even though I know I have only scratched the surface. The MC's of this nanovel had no intention to do, say or be the characters I thought I had thought up. I mean my Eager, Smart, Cocky, single-child Male protagonist ended up as an Easy, Somewhat Idiot, Overly Friendly, Older Brother who at most times made me yell 'How can you be 21 and that stupid' to my screen. I mean it, I yelled.

Once again I made it, with a day to spare. :)

And as I promised myself last year I took more than 10 days for it. 17 is a good number too.

This is one of the sequels to last years novel *I Promise*. I say one as this is book 6 in the series and it was supposed to be the last but I already know what is going to happen in books 7 and 8. I still need to finish this one, re-write I promise and put down more than who has sex with who about books 2-5. Seems I have found my life's work.

A little late update.

Although a lot has happened in my life, I realized that I had very little interest to actually put it in a blog. :)

So I'll give a small recap of the last two months and I'll try a better attempt in keeping thins up to date.

First the Open Air Painting festival was a blast. I only went for one day and made three small pieces. As it was being held in a City that I know really well so there were spots that I have always wanted to paint.

I went to the gallery that was 'Festival Center', there I registered and got my participant card,my cap and a number 12 brush that I desperately needed. So for me it started as a good day. At first I decided to paint Town Hall. After spreading all my stuff around me I just zoned out the world around me. What makes it fun is that Town Hall is a big tourist attraction so a lot of people came by and ask me what I was doing. I explained and continued.

Than out of the blue, I was mixing colors to get the right shade of gray for the column's, this one woman leans over and just snaps at me. "That is not the proper color." Being insulted I snapped back. "Well it's also not your painting." The woman turned a very interesting shade of red and after an apologies from her husband I finished the piece.

By the other two locations it was more that the first spot was a busy tourist location so I kept getting questions about the statue behind me. Good thing I had paid attention. :)

The final spot was in front of some restaurants and there were some drunk students getting there blood alcohol content up to illegal levels. There were some very interesting things yelled at.

But the most adorable of the third location was that at a certain moment this, I believe two year old, kid walks up to me and says "My Daddy says you are a painter, I think you are an artist, who's right?" I couldn't help but smile. "Well although I'm painting right now the correct thing is to call me an artist as I am being artistic." The kid looks at me for a second nods then turns back to his father and yells over the plaza. "Daddy you are dumb, Painters are artist. So it's both, I won. Now I want my ice-cream." That will learn that parent never to bet with his child ever again.

Two days after that the Festival organizers held an auction for all the pieces that were unsold. As I work in acrylic and not in oil paint I knew the interest for my pieces would be less. Take in account that they are really small and I knew there was only a very small chance for them to be sold. What I also had not suspected is that even though I had clearly put my alias on the tag and paintings the organization had put my real name on the name-tags under them. You loose a lot of fun in things if the one thing you keep hearing is "Hey I thought that name belonged to that guy that paints those nature pieces?" mostly followed by a "Well the style's completely different don't think anybody will believe they are related. Pretty sad if you need to use a known name." I do not use that name!!! I just happen to have it, I also paint and I have my own Style. Deal with it.

So I took my mom to the auction, she was raised in that world so I knew she'd like it. We took our spot n a corner, watching the auctioneer go through the pieces and trying to get people interested in buying. My mom asked me why I hadn't invited my Best Friend to the event and I told her I hadn't thought she would have the time, but after I called she said she'd come right over. At a certain point while waiting for my friend to arrive, I told my mom that the worst part about them putting my real name under it was that most people would probably mispronounce my first name. I Had not yet finished saying that or the auctioneer leans towards one of my pieces and indeed says my name wrong. I thought that to be so funny I started to laugh out loud.

The man recognized my mother and asked her how her name was supposed to be pronounced, she pointed at me and said. "This idiots name is pronounced Like Jazzy not like Easy." The man felt so embarrassed that he decided to make it up to me by having me go around the crowd to show it to everybody. I hate having to do things like that.

Nobody bid, I think it was more because of the faces I was pulling than because of my work.

Once my piece was back on the wall and a small break was announced my friend arrived and of course the first thing my mom had to tell her was that.

The rest of the auction we joked about a bit, I told her about the pieces I really liked and she told me which pieces she thought were best. She introduced herself as my 'girl'friend to most people, I told her that I was a bit uncomfortable with people assuming that we were dating so I kept saying "We are just friends, she lives with her boyfriend." My friend has the tendency to claim everything what is usually fun, but not if you are trying to show yourself as a capable single adult.

That was it for the Painter festival I will do my best and add the other things later too.

The next step.

After getting in contact with my Beta and going over most of my story's, I sent her a piece that I would like to see some improvement.

To be honest any painting and writing and drawing has all bin done at night in the back of the living-room. I never used to be scared of the world and it's view yet since I came to realize that the images in my mind are the pieces of me I want to devote my life to will make me put there where everybody thinks the right to judge.

So at first I made a Deviantart account and started to put some of my doodles online. The positive feedbacks that I got on those made me feel a lot more comfortable in my artistic skin. The conversations I had with some made me get the feeling to create.

Now I have decided to also try and get my name out and put my foot between the door on my painting. So I got myself accepted in an Open Air Painter Event and I am scared stiff. I haven't painted in the open air in years. I'll make an update with my stuff.<3

Busy and distracted.

This past month has bin filled with more than ample stuff to keep my inspiration flared up for at least the duration of summer.

To start things of I spent the first week with a cold, I got so tired of that that I decided to call my general practitioner, but the one currently running the practice was on a holiday so I had to call around to find another that could help me. After finally getting an assistant on the phone I was informed that I should call back the next day because they only make appointments between 8 and 9:30. So the next day I call all the numbers again and once again only the last on the list picks up. By that time it was 9:10 and I was informed that all the slots for that day where filled but if I thought that what was ailing me was really annoying maybe she could help me. So after telling her that I have bin dealing with this cold for 7 months now, she wrote down my specifications and tolled me to call back after 12 because she was going to ask the doctor if there was anything that needed to be done. So after waiting for 3 hours I called back and I was informed that considering my past ailments I most likely was suffering from an inflammation in my Eustachian tube. Whoopee. Last time that happened there where some very traumatic things done to me. Just imagine a rubber screwdriver and your nostril. This time all I got was a nasal spray. So I was all happy that I was coming of fairly easy and pretty happy left for the pharmacy. But when it was finally my turn my bank card declared that I didn't have any money on it. I knew that could not be correct as I had checked just the previous day if there was enough money on it to pay the bills I was expecting and I had more than enough. So here I had to ask them to hold on to it and I had to call my mom asking her to come bring me some cash. It was a lousy 2 Euro and I didn't have it.

In the end it seemed that my bank had inadvertently paid a bill that was scheduled to be paid 5 days later (when I had gotten paid) because of that 2 other bills had not bin paid and I had less than 1 buck in my account. So in the end I had to take a nasal spray and hunt down everything that went wrong with my money and clear everything with the people that did not get paid. The bank at least admitted that it was a flaw on there side, and helped me with getting my money to the proper accounts.

Then on the 16th my best friend and I went to Disney on Ice, I have bin dying to go to one of those shows since I was 5. I loved it. put pretty much the entire show on my mobile. If I knew you were allowed to record and take pictures I would have taken my camera with me.

And after that I was informed that the group I joined on Deviantart had found me a beta reader. Now I just need to get the courage to contact the person. Wish me well.

Maybe this will help me out.

My entry survey for Beta-Readers;

I am a writer.

1. May we send your survey response to your partnered beta reader?

Sure, can't see why not.

2. Are you new to beta reading?

Yes and no. I have had people Beta-read my work before, but they were to close to me to say anything about errors.

3. Your age (optional):

Consenting adult. (bin writing for 20 years if that helps)

4. Genre(s) – Please be specific:

I write every genre and nearly every type of format.

5. Rating: G, PG, PG-13, R, or MA?

Depending on the story, all of the above.

6. Warnings: Sex, violence, politics, religion, and other hot button issues.

Most of my story's are written in a way to relieve my mind from thoughts about what goes about in the world and my direct surrounding. So I can write about the weather or a Gay serial killer who goes after religious politicians. I don't hold back.

7. What's your writing skill level?

My writing started as a way to tell my story's and to overcome my dyslexia. In time I have become better than the average beginner but no where near a professional.

8. What writing aspects are you trying to improve?

What I hope to improve is the flow of my longer story's. I'm quite capable to have a start, middle and end to my shorter ones, but the second my story become longer than 8000 words I loose oversight, my characters loose dept and I let holes drop in the plot.

The next thing that needs improvement is that I need somebody to pick my inconsistent words out of the ruble. It happens that I call something "this" the one moment and "that" the other.

9. What are you looking for in the beta reader?

Somebody that isn't afraid to 'hurt' my feelings when pointing out flaws. Somebody that isn't scarred about putting there foot down. Somebody that can handle a moody, shy, and seriously lacking trust in ones self writer. Somebody that doesn't quit the second my temper gets the better of me. Somebody that understands that I am completely loyal to those I trust and is capable to give the same amount of loyalty.

In short somebody that I can build a long-lasting 'relationship' with.

10. Do you promise to put sincere effort into your partnership?

If I wasn't I'd never have filled in this survey.

Being just slightly perverted.

Either I have come to terms with the more dark convolutions of my brain or I just simply stopped fighting against them. over the past few weeks I have come to realize that my drawings, writings and even my overall thoughts all revolve around sex. On it's own not very bad, probably a lot better than the complete lack of thoughts in that directions I had near the end of my last relationship. But for crying out load, that's bin over a year ago and now suddenly my mind gets overrun by thoughts. I bet it has something to do with that story I wrote for nanowrimo there is ample amount of sex involved in that story.

About that story I fear I will really have to completely rewrite the first half. For some odd reason I have come to the conclusion that it will be a much better story if certain parts are seen through Waltz' eyes instead of Heathers. Which means that only by the grace of god will I successfully reach the editorial end date of May first, after that I will loose my code with which I can get a free copy. No Fair, I want my free copy. But I am not going to kill myself.

Oh and on yet another account I fear I do have contracted something as I have just had yet another week of shivers and rises. Unless this is still the same than I don't want to know what it really is.

Finished one now ready for the rest.

On My Long List of drawings that have planned on doing this year The nr.1 was a birthday card for my best friend, that has resulted in to a drawing featuring Megamind, a main character to a movie she is completely crazy about. I Mean she talks about this character so often that without ever seeing the movie myself I successfully wrote a explanatory text along with it that made it stay completely true to his persona in the film. I mean I am yet to even watch a trailer, that is how little I know of the story.

http://carpe-diem-et-noctem.deviantart.com/#/d38vpw8

To celebrate her birthday we went bowling yesterday, this was the second time I have ever gone bowling in my life and although I will never be good enough to make my living out of it I am (slightly boasting) pretty darn Good. I only lost the second round by two points but I firmly made a Hundred point in third. Although to be very honest the people I was with had all slight handicaps. one could only use his other arm because of an accident, the other got constantly distracted (perhaps because he's finally with the girl he was after) and I fear my friend lacks sense of direction; or she has a very good sense of directions as I have never seen such splendid gutter balls and near misses performed by a singular person.

On a secondary notice I finally do not feel like I had the unfortunate run in with a pack of bulls so I feel safe to say that my health is moving in the proper direction and (keeping fingers crossed) hopefully this year I'll skip the pneumonia.

Best wishes and good health.

The power of the pen

By my love for the written word my love for writing the words has steadily but undoubtedly grown into one of the greatest loves of my life. But as of this week my beloved pen be it fine-liner or fountain - will have to make room for a new pen that might very well possibly become the most important non-living friend I have into the world. By my own accord I have namely became the proud owner of a Bamboo Tablet Pen and Fun S. This little baby will not only help me improve my drawing skills that I have horribly neglected over the past 5+ years, It can even be used to write your notes directly into a computer-file. This means I no longer will have to write things down first and then type them out on the computer. I'm so happy I caught myself singing to myself. And I don't even like singing.

I can't wait to spent my days rotting away behind the computer creating the most beautifull lines ever written in human history. That is the power of the pen. All Praise the true power of the pen.

New Years resolutions.

This is going to be a first for me as I have never ever dared to plan ahead in life by making a do or don't list.

So lets get started with the ten things I want to accomplish:

1. Make over 100 drawings of OC's and have them somewhere they can be viewed by the general audience be it through Deviantart or any other art community.
2. Write over 100 Story's big or small and have them available for the general public be it through Deviantart or any other means
3. Finish editing my nanowrimo story
4. Finish my cover-art for my nanowrimo story
5. Get my free book print from www.CreateSpace.com
6. Release my nanowrimo Story to the general public either through CreateSpace or any other self-publishing provider.
7. Go out by myself and have a good time without feeling responsible for everyone else in my life, they don't even realize that I'm doing it.
8. Kiss a complete stranger. (I once read somewhere it's easier to keep yourself to your goals if you put at least one in there your allowed to fail in.)
9. Be open for a new relationship.
10. Go on a holiday alone and actually enjoy myself.

Then there are the things I wish to stop. So here are my top three peeves about myself:

1. Stop worrying about what others might think. I don't know where it went wrong but I was a much happier person when the opinion of others didn't stop me from doing things that feel right.
2. Talking myself down. (if this one needs explaining find help)
3. Fantasizing about things that will never happen. There are way to many good things right under my nose that could use my attention.

Let's just see how well I can keep myself up to this list.

Almost forgot the most important part of this post.

Happy New Year may you all have mucho fun.

pitter patter

One of my dear friends is going to become a mother. love